Dear 2012...

This 2012 has really been a year full of events.

Goodbye to Richard. Hope you finally found the peace you were looking for on you last trip, you loved travelling so much. I'm deeply sorry for the way you went away on your birthday day. RIP.

Goodbye to Spike. I wanted to have had more time to spend with you, Pooh Factory. You were a good and funny dog, you'll be missed forever <3 RIP Sweetheart.

Welcome Lollipop. A few months kitten found sick on the shelf into my backyard. Since then, our hearts belong each other. And even if you continue to wake me up licking my face at 6.30 in the morning on weekends too, the joy you brought into my life is priceless. Love You, lil Terrorist!

It's been the year of changes, it's the year that saw my dear friend Al getting married for the second time with the love of his life. Bless you. You deserve to be happy.

It's the year that saw me and Jay sorting our issues and making shine again a friendship with a capital "F". Love you, Cookie. You'll always be my Precious.

It's the year that brought me a new job, new coworkers and bosses, the year that Wicklow was waiting for seeing the Bridge Tavern open and active again. Proud of being part of the team, proud of being there since the start. You're fabulous. Working with you is amazing!

It's the year that brought me Ko' back and it's exactly the same as when we lived only 30km aparts. We talk a lot but we meet once in a year if everything goes well :P

The men's world has a lot to learn from Gentlemen like you. Shame that we, women, always choose to end with a dickhead ;)

It's the year I got my passport, I've been in the US for the first time and everything was exactly as I imaged: a big flat world that reminds a scenario of Hollywood with the most of the words spelled in a different (wrong) way. Where "Mum" is not a mother but a corpse wrapped in bandages. Americans! lol

It's the year that brought me to a handsome, messed, blueyed man without who I can't live and I don't want to image one day apart. We can argue, we can split up, we can be upset at each other for days, but in the end we're always together. Love You, HoneyPie <3

It's the year I finally sorted my issue with drinking and I'm even able to send messages that make sense now :P

And, not less weird or important, it's the year that saw my Brother and I talking together again.

So, my toast tonight it's for you, 2012. Thank you, keep safe and welcome 2013.

Tv shows.

I'm born on the early 70s and fairly grew up during the 80s while the Italian telly was broadcasting a load of American TV shows.
I'm the one that watched them all, every single episode and still think that, aside from really few ones, today directors aren't able to repeat that kind of success.
I absolutely love House, but it's nothing compared to how much I was in love with Quincy.
Evidence of that could be the new series of Beverly Hills 90210, Knight Rider and so go on.
When I moved to Ireland, I started to have access to Channel 4. They have a great website where you can watch every program they broadcast whenever you want. It even resumes episodes when you get tired and interrupt them.
I have to mention Skins, Peep Show, Misfits (absolutely brilliant), Merlin (no way, I love it!!!) and Shameless. No wonder if the Americans have tried to make their own version of the last one.
But... really... seriously... Can you image Frank Gallagher out of the Chatworth estate, without his Manchester accent? And what about the last scene of the main theme with the UK flag behind his shoulders while he says "This is OUR England, now"?
Neither I.
Regardless of the hatred that Irish people (with good reason indeed) have against Britains, I do admit that their way of making TV is absolutely Great!

About relationships 2.

As I said in a previous post, I'm not an expert of relationships. The only example I have is my experience.

I learned from my mistakes and I tried not to repeat them again.

But, the first thing to say is that, even if psychologists tend to group profiles for their affinities, the reality is that we can't tell about every single relationship, because it's made between two different individuals, with different imprintings and nobody can figure out how it can evolve.

Forget them then, and forget horoscopes. That's shit.

Omitting the relationships I had when I was young (althought they taught me something anyway) what I really understood is that you won't ever know how it ends (if it does, of course).

It's a kind of challenge and you have to accept it or not.

Until you know a little of who the other part is, you never know if they should have been worth or not.

Main rules of the game, however, are for sure: Respect, Loyalty, Trust, Love.

Don't deceive yourself if you miss one of the above. It leads to a shitty relationship.

Don't deceive yourself idolizing the other, it's just an illusion of yours.

Don't deceive yourself believing that you can change them, they don't and they won't ever do.

The only thing you can do is analyzing the situation and deciding: is that what I want in my relationship?

The answer is also the one that drives ahead this chapter or not.

Another thing that I learned is recognizing the symptoms when it's over.

Too often, we try to deceive ourselves giving another chance, waiting for something's over that we think it's just a crisis, but after a while that you're with that person and after you're collecting behaviours or actions from the other part you don't like, maybe you've already reached the point to consider that that person is not the mean to be.

Better leaving on time, before the pain becomes bigger, closing that chapter and deleting every contacts.

And... no way. You know it's over when you're already looking for something better outside of that relationship.

Once the crack, the slot is open, there's nothing left to do to turn back.

Just, move over with your life.

Kittens & beds.

There are several things that I miss of my beloved cats, but Lolly is doing her best to fill the void.

Even if apparently annoying, doing a bed with a kitten around is pretty funny.

A new way to change bedlinen.

I see you!

*Somersault*

Gotcha! (She only knows what...)

Mwah!

Cooonfy!

So... What??

Special.

I want to dedicate this post to a very Special Friend I have and even if I'm aware he won't read this post ever.
He's the kind of person that stops everything he's doing just to give you his whole attention.
He's the one that pays attention to details.
He's the one that remembers every shit you said, even when you're drunk.
He's the one that tried to teach you the most difficult language in the world.
He's the one that is always honest with you and he's not afraid to tell you when you're an idiot.
No wonder if there has been a time when I fell in love with him.
He's the one that moved over on every issue we had and today I can tell he's the best friend I ever had.
Thank you, Jay, for being part of my life.
I'd be lost without you.

When enough is enough.

People know me as a kind person, eccentric, erratic sometimes, but always nice.

If you don't piss me off, of course.

Well, a couple of months ago I received an email from an old ex-boyfriend from the very very very long time ago (kinda almost 15 years ago) with the usual questions: "How're ya, how's going, wotcha doing, etc."

Jeez, I remember the last time I saw him has been in 2005, since then I neither recalled his existence.

After few exchanges I found out that he met my brother for lunch and he already knew answers to above questions. After few emails, he invited himself here for a weekend first, then the weekend became 4 days.

Now, with all the kindness of someone that is going to see violated her privacy, I answered with diplomacy that I live and work here (and hard too, actually) and that I should have made an effort to join him for the weekend but there was no fucking way to see me any other day. 

Disappeared into thin air.

People think I'm here on holiday, ffs!

You know now why he's an ex, doncha?

About relationships.

I start saying that I'm not an expert neither I have a degree on Psychology, so what I'm going to say it's based on my own experience. That's pretty a disaster too.

I'm following on Facebook "The problem with women..." page and yesterday, just for curiosity, I checked the book on Amazon. I admit that I was going to buy the both of books till I read a review, written by a man that looks with the head on his shoulders.

First, I have to tell that I agree with the most of posts and statements on the author's page, then after having read the mentioned review, I realized that I was agreeding as well as I usually do when I find a funny image from some-e-cards: kinda commonplaces that meet the view of the most.

Anyway, back to the main topic, the author claims himself as a relationship expert, even if I didn't find any proof of that. It looks most likely he's expert as everyone of us is about our own life.

Shortening, the first book describes his evolution from a dickhead with women to an appearance of a man, that hides nobody else than a player. It's nice to see, however, how he explains every trick and evasion that each woman of us has experienced at least once in our life when dealing with the opposite sex. For the rest, nothing new: lies, cheating on, excuses and whatever makes a weak woman a tool in male's hands. It could be useful to someone indeed, that still lives in a muffled world of fantasy, where everything is good and beautiful, just to be enough blind to hide themselves from the true and avoinding of being hurt.

Personally, I don't fully blame the opposite sex. I've been a good and bad girlfriend, depending on the case, but at last I learned that what really counts is the weight we give to that relationship. If it doesn't matter, who cares if what we're doing is right or wrong, when it's time to summarize it's also time to close that chapter and move on.

At the end, we're the only responsibles for our happiness that doesn't depends on others. If we meet a worthy person, thanks god, otherwise there's nothing worst than being with the wrong one just because of the fear of being alone. This applies to both sexes.

Being single, sometimes, doesn't mean being a loser, expecially when it's our choice. That means, instead, being aware of our own value.

image by deviantart

Like a Christmas Tale.

Let me be nice once in a while, following the magic spirit of these days and sharing with you candy canes, bows and fantastic characters of this tale...
Now tell me to keep my feet on the ground while walking down the street!

Our new hero Snowy ;)

Ballerina and the Tin Soldier

The Wicklow Town Hall with a touch of Magic.

Dawn on a festive Billy Byrne.

Commonplace of the day.

There is a huge deep difference between males and men.

If you don't get it, you're probably dumb or male yourself...

Questioning.

I guess it's my mother's fault because I hate asking. I remember when I was a child we lived in a condo and she was the icon of the housewife that sent her kids around the building for salt, sugar, eggs, even toilet rolls. I was really shy, so much shy that I was able to stutter even on a three word question.

I mean, if you need that shit and you don't want to move your precious arse to the store, why don't you go to your neighbour asking yourself?

Anyway, I fucking hate asking. Each time I've been leaded to do that, I feel really unconfortable, whatever the question is.

But, for the most, I bloody hate when I finally throw there my question and instead of receiving a clear simple answer, I get a boring infinite monologue that says nothing or (worse) they change topic.

Please, gimme a gun. I have to clean the world...

Christmas Tree 2012.

Finally done with it too.

Step by step.

Light On!

"I wanna help too!"

Almost done...

Hearts.

"Mmh, lemme check if everything's alright..."

"Hang on, hang on. Am not sure yet!"

Alright. We can be proud of it, indeed.

Now...

List me countries when you can see a happy end like this one.
Snowy has been returned from mysterious kidnappers, Gards found him earlier this morning. No damages and a message left saying "Sorry".
He stands again over a shop in the centre of the town.
And we ended on the BBC :P

Missing Snowy.

That's the story.
Among the Christmas decorations in Wicklow Town there was a 60ft inflatable snowman (called Snowy) that has disappeared in the first hours of last Monday morning.

RTÉ, The Independent, The Journal, Wicklow News and other several newspapers are talking about that. Even the Garda is after Snowy disappeareance.

It looks most likely a windy kidnapping than the brilliant idea of a theft by a drunk.

What's funny behind that it's the reaction of the Town about this episode.

There's even a page on FB that I strictly reccomend if you want to have some fun and a laugh.

For sure, if it's an incident, a theft or just a publicity stunt, this Christmas we'll have something funny to talk about. 

I know I'd be serious but, hell, I'm rolling on the floor! It's like living in one of those TV Show episodes.

Give us our Snowman back!
Now, excuse me, but I gotta go. I have to find Snowy...

By night.

I definitively love this town.

Main Street

Market Square

Fitzwilliam Square

Fitzwilliam Square

Fitzwilliam Square

Market Square

Wicklow Gaol

It's Christmas time.

Take a 6 months old hyperactive kitten.

Take a nice decorated brighten tree.

Take it as her 1st Christmas.

How does it look like?

Hell, yeah...

Simple beauty.

Usually I get a lot of compliments for my photos, but honestly I just push a button.

It's the spot that deserves.

Grrrr.

I hate when I'm close to my period. I feel like the world is going to end.
Just like now.

Doh!

Finally when the plot became clear into my mind, paragraph after paragraph, chapter after chapter, here that I need to learn English first.
Holy Cow!

Once upon a long ago...

There's something wrong with the fairy stories we've been told when we were children.

We, romatic girls, grew up with this stupid idea that someday THE Prince Charming will come to save us, whoever he is.

Then, there's this belief that some kind of inner clock starts to tick time out on about the age of 30.

So, here that you see all those women running after men with the urge of getting a ring on their fingers and starting a family.

At 30.

When I turned 30 my father "suggested" me to put my head on my shoulders. I looked at my life, the boyfriend I was with and not only I broke the relationship few months later, but I deleted also the word "marriage" from my dictionary.

Too young to get caught in a lifetime relationship, too child myself to grow one up, still too much will of having fun.

People today have children even when over 40, science and medicine are no longer what they were 50 years ago (and over) so no hurry at all. Plus, life is longer than before. We've plenty of time.

Back to the fables that brainwashed us, the plot is always the same: there's this young girl in need, she finds her Prince, everybody's happy. The END.

Probably someone needs to think what that "END" means.

Even in case of just one child you've already fucked the next 16 years of your life: no pubs, no drinking, no clubs, no nights out with friends, no trips around the world, END of fun.

Enjoy your life till you're young, Lil Lady, your body is not going wasted itself.

So...

I have all these characters on mind and, while I'm looking for a decent plot, they're joyfully drinking at the bar...

Backstage of a Pub.

Working in a pub/bar/restaurant could seem a boring job but there are aspects and perspectives that a normal customer doesn't see.

Foe example, you know the level of drunkenness of the night before by the number of drinks poured on the floor. Who haven't, in a moment of enthusiasm, shook their hands in the air hitting their own glass?

I guess it happened at least once to the all of us.

What caught my attention, instead, has been the sexual activity related to the bathrooms, male or female.

First, we already caught a couple having fun on the sink into the disabled toilet.

Second, if you spend a minute to look at the dispensers placed there you'll notice that you can find mints, chewing gums, tampons, condoms (you never know how cool you could feel after a number of cocktails) AND....

A "love ring".   

Nope, I'm not referring to the romantic golden version of it, I'm talking about the following:

Now, there might be a reasonable explanation why the dispenser into the female toilet is always empty unlike the always-equipped-one in the opposite restroom.

Well, I didn't find it yet though.

The only thing I think is that it could be funny just rotating one of the surveillance cameras to the doors just to see who gets in and out and who wasn't supposed to be there.

You know, Wicklow is a smaaaaaall town!!!

And I'm curious like a cat...

Joys.

Life is pretty incomplete without a cat!
Lollipop left her pawprints on my heart already <3

Dreamer.

My Mom sent me a email few days ago, with a scene between God and one of his Angels about the creation of the woman.
It's a long email, I'm lazy and I have no will to translate it, but the point was that God kept a week to create the woman after the man, cos he wanted her to be perfect.
Perfect means: a creature that loves truly, cares of others, renounces of her dreams to make someone else happy, and so go on.
Well, thank you God for your job, indeed.
Now, do you want to explain me why we, women, act with heart while you created our half that thinks with their balls only?
No wonder if I'm not religious and, above of all, I hate men.

Children.

There must be a kind of virus that fucks parent's minds when they get a child.
Looking at some FB's profiles, I noticed that some of my friends have always the image of their kids as profile picture instead of their own.
I can understand that you're a proud parent, that you believe your child is the most wonderful on the earth' surface, but don't you reckon you could look like a lil retard to whom you have on your friendlist? Don't you think we rather like to see YOUR face, instead?
I asked my boyfriend, in the very far eventuality I get pregnant, if I lose my mind and I decide to do the same, to (please) save my dignity and kill me before I do that...

FFS!

One.

One year ago I introduced you as "My Secret Love" to the rest of the "Family".
I wasn't that wrong, was I? ;)
Happy 1st Anniversary to Us.

POV (Point of view).

Talking with my boyfriend about Facebook, we expressed our different point of view.

He has a "normal" profile, with his name, the schools he went, the birthplace, the town he lives in, his "real" friends and schoolmates, etc.

I created mine to play a social game, my name is fake, my listed job is the game I play, no referrings to birthplace, schools, jobs or whatever else that is strictly personal.

Once we had a kind of arguing cos he defined mine "half-fake" but he's right. The real info I share are my birthdate, my images and the place I live in. Well, I'm pretty proud of my aspect and the Wicklow County.
I found myself thinking about it. Honestly I'm against of sharing every kind of personal info on a public website, social network or whatever.
But... for a bit of a second I thought of myself and what I am now. I thought of all the people I have known in past and what they are now.
Married, already divorced, with children, bored, bald, fat, with old lived faces, probably the most of them has lost the concept of what living means. Probably the most of them has forgotten the last time they have done something "crazy".
In the back of my mind, I saw my profile as public, with my real name and available to them to look at it.
Me yesterday, that lil shy girl that has been the centre of their jokes for years, disparaged, mistreated, humiliated.
Me today, a gorgeous, smiling 40 years old gal that shows at least 10 years less, thin, in a perfect shape, living in a marvellous country as Ireland is, with a bunch of international friends that interacts with her daily and a pretty handsome boyfriend.
Childish, huh?

But.... God if it would be a satisfaction!!!

Dear god...

Can you stop raging on me and give me a rest?
Thank you.

Wondering.

Sometimes I just wonder if you still think of me now and then or if you just changed your life forgetting the past.
Honestly I never missed you, I didn't and I don't like what you turned into.
I miss what we were, what we did, our things and the way we were used to say the same sentence at the same time.
It's not something that easy to find.
The only thing I hope is, among the busy life you have now, that if you never stopped on thinking of it, you found out you're really happy.

The movie of life.

I hope it'll come a day when I'll be starring in someone's life and not being just an appearance.

For you...

...that are the best part of me.
You, my strenght and my weakness.
You that probably will read it after days.

Timing.

Timing is all. Choose the wrong one and you'll lose the train.
It doesn't matter what efforts you've done to be there.
When it's too late there's nothing much you can do.
And questions will be unanswered for ever.

Thursday.

Really an empty day, pretty sad I'd add.
Got an email from my Mum that showed again how few she knows me, or maybe, she wants to know me. I'm, then, not properly the kind of person that likes repeating things on and on.
Weird but true, I wanted someone to talk with. For a series of events, I didn't find the one I was looking for. Too focused on other to hear me.
Got a link from my Brother about a beautiful song and an UK singer that I didn't know.
This one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_siYfZDh5w
I'll be Miss Obvious, but when it concerns cancer I feel deeply sad and too involved. Fought two wars against it with two of my cats and "we" lost the both of them. Plus, I saw too many persons I cared about going away due to it.
Unexpectedly to me, cos I don't read news that often, markets went down. That means that my shares went down as well. Same for the stock I'm keeping an eye on and I'm pretty sure it'll raise again, but the price is still too high to me to afford it.
God of the Market, don't disappoint me and make this Friday as usual: everything down so I can buy it ;)
No images. Enjoy the video.

Get inspired!

I remember that I was used to go to IKEA with my ex everytime whe had the chance. I always loved their stores and the most of their products.
When I got the call from them to work in one of their stores in Rome, I felt pretty happy even if it wasn't one of my best periods.
The only thing I regret of that is the way I've been treated: 5 years giving my soul for a poor part-time 20 hours/week's contract that didn't allow me to pay the rent either.
Yesterday I got the 2013 catalogue and today I took the time to glance at it and I felt a bit nostalgic.
I'd really like to visit the Dublin's store if it wasn't so off the beaten track and, not owning a vehicle, a bit impossible to reach.
Of course, I saw few things that I want to buy. When I worked there, I dropped down to buy something after my shift at least once at month.
Today, while I was looking at it, I wasn't at the half either that I felt the uncontrollable urge to tidy up around my house.
Not sure if I'm going to open it again, at this point ¬.¬°

Nice.

After I shoot out my disappointment for the stolen logo, there's no one poster left in the whole Wicklow Town.
BUT.
They still have the paint on the courtyard wall ;)
What people do to save money!

Interactions.

I always made a mistake when I care about someone, they could be best friends, boyfriends or relatives: I put 'em at the centre of my life.
I guess I do that cos I hoped to be special to them as they were to me.
Bad mistake.
Although, it's a lesson that it seems I'm not able to learn.