Matter of pride.

This morning I was remembering some bad, past experiences I had with people in my life and I came to the conclusion that I'm the only responsible of falling always on the same wrong path.

Something I absolutely need to change is the naive perception that there's always something good in everyone. 

Totally wrong. Some people are just a waste and creating an illusion on them is the first step to bigger mistakes, when not even to a big grief.

It's not them, it's me. Once on that path, it's hard to step back due to my pride which doesn't allow me to admit I'm wrong again.

Psychologically talking, this way of iconising people arises from the need of believing there's still hope in this world.

Again, not always true and often wrong.

What I really need to do is looking at things in the way they are, whether I like them or not.

Time for daydreams is over.

The price of ignorance.

Living in Ireland is really wonderful, if you ignore their sanctimonius and religious laws and taxes they apply on alcohol and cigarettes. I don't approve the first ones at all, I understand that such excise is supposed to be there as deterrent for smoking and drinking. Very odd considered that one of the most exported thing from this country is alcoholics themselves.

Anyway.

If you live in Ireland and it comes on your mind to skip the duty on tobacco buying from websites those promise you cheap prices and duty free, don't!

Don't even try to have your Mama/Auntie/Best friend/Whatever shipping them.

I experienced it on my own skin.

Trusting one of the above mentioned websites and hoping to save money for a bit, I ended spending about the double.

Here's the story.

I bought a carton of Lucky Strike from "X" website.

Tot. paid: €66.06 + 1.16 due to change Euro/Dollar.

On their website they say:

U.K., Irish, French, Italian, German, Netherlands, and Canadian Customers X.com will not be held responsible for lost / stolen and / or seized orders by Customs. X.com will attempt to accommodate its customers to the best of its ability by providing a merchandise credit and points that grant discount on non-tobacco, non-alcohol (and non-perfume for Canadian customers) when deemed necessary.

Of course, Customs seized my carton at its arrival. What I was totally ignoring is the Public Notice 1878 which states:

Alcohol and Tobacco Products being brought into Ireland from another EU country without payment of duties must be transported and accompanied by you, i.e. cannot be shipped/posted to this country.

Translated: Or you bring them yourself and in the allowed quantity (i.e. 200 cigs) or there's no way that you receive them by post.

I hit myself against the Finance act 2001 Section 141 and 142.

BUT, you can claim them back, paying the missing duty which in this case has been:

Customs Duty           - €  63.93

VAT @ 23%              - €  17.97
An Post Fee              - €   6.00
Total for Collection    - € 87.90

Therefore, 10 packs of Lucky Strike in this way have a final cost of €155.12, that means almost 0.80 cents/cig, that means also I'll smoke them very slowly and wisely as they were gold plated.

With almost the same amount I should have got 2 cartons of Pall Mall at the newsagent behind home...

Short dreams.

Each time I fall into the same mistake, but at least this time I was justified.

After 42 minutes on the site of a job interview, spending time looking at how things work and how they need to be done, filling yourself a couple of records, it comes spontaneous thinking «Hooray! It's done: my life is finally about to change!» 

And there you are, naive believer and dreamer, planning new budgets, new purchases, new routines with a huge smile on your face.

Then, you find yourself frantically checking your email, moving your phone from a place to another even when the signal if full, waiting for a call like a teenager at her first date with the most handsome bloke of the school.

But, when the call doesn't come within the time it was supposed to be, here that you actually see all your sand castles falling down, dragged away from a virtual high tide, till the last grain.

So, you open your eyes again and nothing has changed, like everything has never happened and you're still trapped in your yesterday which will be your tomorrow too, over and over again.

Until the next dream.

Here we go.

Took a break (a long one, actually) from writing and looking after this blog. 

Sometimes it just happens that too many things come out and you're so shattered you can't even gather a single thought. Then, often, some things can't just be shared.

It has been time to ponder, analyse and revalue some settings of my life, also a way to understand what I really need and want. Reached a good point, shame I'm not able to make it real yet.

Several things have been put aside, waiting for a better timing, but not forgotten at all.

Into the desperation of managing a life which suddenly is falling apart, you just look at what made you feel good in your last years, trying to get it back even when it's the wrong answer.

Maybe cryptic, but there's no better way to explain it.

I'm slowly stepping back to my old habits, the ones I liked and loved so much, into the little, precious, perfect world I created around myself, one step at time.

This is one of them.